Struggling

I have been struggling lately. I am not sure if it is any one thing or a whole mess of a lot of things but the world is getting to me. The big great wide world and my little intense mini world in my home. I don’t even know where to start it is so dark and daunting. This happens to many people from time to time. I get that. Take one step at a time, I’ve been told. Yet, here I am sitting in a very dark space, struggling. I am frightened, I am tired, I am hungry (and not even for food), I am a mom. 

I often wonder if someone had shown me what life would be like if I would have made different choices. Honestly, I knew… I knew the choices in my life were the wrong ones and I did it anyway. So here I am now trying to do better, to make better choices. Right now, I am failing miserably. It is a dark cold space I am in but I also know my faith will get me through, somehow. I know this too shall pass. I know it may be years before it passes. I know I need to be strong. I know my kids need me to be strong. I know I need me to be strong. 

Today though… today, I am not strong and that is going to have to be ok. 

 

~me

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