I am adamant about letting my son be who he is. If he is able to articulate his feelings, I take them seriously. He after all is the expert on himself.
So when my child tells me “Mom, the idea of this scares me. I really do not like it when a lot of people are looking at me so I don’t think I can do this,” When he says these things while needing my arms around him to feel safe and tears in his eyes, I listen.
Not everyone in his world listens as well as me. When I am able, I remove the people unable to support my son properly with those that will. Some however, are impossible to remove.
How do you handle this?
For me, it is about giving the person who can not be removed as much information about Steve as possible (should I just call this person Voldemort now? I mean common just let me). It is about giving Steve as much strength as possible to stand up to this kind of person. Sadly, Steve will have to deal with these people for the rest of his life in many aspects of his life (school, workplace etc).
These people who, no matter how important it is to do so, will never be “aware,” “accepting,” or “advocational” on Steve’s behalf. They are simply incapable of being any of these things.
So this is where I have to check out. This one, no matter what my feelings about the situation are, is out of my control.
Trust me…. THIS ROYALLY SUCKS.
The bottom line though with me has been, and always will be is making sure Steve knows…. I HAVE HIS BACK, ALWAYS but this time kiddo… my hands are tied.
Image is of a pair of hands being tied.