The Profanity Club

shocked lego head

Every once in a while something spectacular happens. I can’t really explain it. It just happens. Steve just starts talking. And talking. And talking. Not the usual, “yeah Mom whatever don’t bother me I’m playing my game” talking. But honest to goodness, “hey mom sit down let’s have a conversation” talking. 


It happened tonight. Twice. 


The first one starts like this: We had just returned to gymnastics waiting for the girl. He was out of screen time and didn’t argue one bit when I told him his time was up and to shut it off. It was a very interesting and meaningful conversation. I appreciate the parents around us trying hard not to fall over laughing. Not laughing at the autistic kid but laughing because honestly, he has NO IDEA how adorable he is when this happens. 


Fallout Boy is playing in the background. Steve tells me he likes this song while he does his typical can’t stand still fidgets.  Then Steve, as he does, proceeds to tell me about another song he likes, Uptown Funk. Steve slaps his hands over his mouth as if he has said something wrong. So I ask if he is ok? He, I think even stunned with himself says, “is Funk profanity?”


I say simply, “Nope. Just make sure that Nnnnnnn is there.” Steve leans in and whispers, while looking around to see who in the tiny penalty sized parent box may be listening, “So Fucking is a profanity?” I put my hands over my mouth now with my eyes wide and reply ” yes sir, it sure is.” “Ok, but Mom, is any form of Fuck a profanity?” I now quietly just put two fingers over his mouth and whisper, “yes, and I don’t want you to say any form of that word again, ok?” “Okay mom, but did you know I joined a profanity club today?” 


Say what now? 


“A profanity club” he repeats in his full voice for the entire parent penalty box to hear. “Yeah, at daycare, this one kid,”(NOPE, I will not tell you their names) “so this one kid, said we’re starting a profanity club, you want in?” 


I asked, “so ummmm, you joined?” 


“Sure did,” Steve said almost proud, then leaned in to say in his loudest whisper voice EVER, “I joined, but I don’t use the profanity. Profanity is using bad words and get this, my brain, it told me, I don’t think that is such a good idea and I listened. So i just don’t do the profanity part. But you know what mom, I think tomorrow I’m going to tell that kid, we need to change the name of this club and we need to stop using profanity.”


Jaw. On. The. Floor. 


I didn’t even know where to go with that so I just hugged my kid. 


Then the subject changed and we left the room to fulfill his need to answer his next question of the night. AKA: the second conversation. 


Later though at bedtime, I told him thank you. I said “Steve, thank you for telling me the truth about the profanity club and trusting me enough to tell me.” His response… “Sure thing mom, I just hope I can remember to tell that kid we need to change the club.” 


Something tells me he isn’t going to forget. 


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